An eye to the future

While everyone else on the train ducks and covers whenever someone coughs, I've been staring out the window thinking about my novel.  I've had a burst of writing lately and I'm in the nebulous center of the story.  When I began my draft, I clearly saw the beginning and the end and shrugged off the blank void of the center.  Now that I am there, it's a little daunting.

It doesn't help that when I dream up scenes and conversations, my mind also considers the intent of the novel.  I want to explore the sometimes conflicting ideas of promises and love.  Which is more important, a promise you have made or your love for someone else, especially when it is a definite choice to be made between the two?

Right now I have been plodding along with the plot.  Lots of things happen, lots of actions and consequences to push the narrative forward.  I still have some things to string together but I bank on figuring it out as I go.  What is distracting is all the bigger concepts I want to weave into the story.  It's not the time to focus on that, I suppose.  The first draft needs to be written and then I can heighten the language and flush out the narrative to present all those Big Important Ideas.  But it's tough to stop myself from turning back.

All I want is to stop and reread, finding ways to explore the implications of Alex's secret and the fears behind Sophia's decisions.  If I do that, I might never get past where I am now though.

So I daydream on the train and see my characters fighting and loving (and some shooting, too) as houses and parks fly by.  The first draft will be the initial dress sewn from my pattern and then I can go back and adjust the hem, reset the sleeve.  Eventually it will be the perfect LBD to show off.  Eventually.